So, Cheri and I met for some pool and beers today. We were initially having fun, until the two of us got a little feisty with each other. She had a hold of the pool stick, and so did I. She started making some moves as if to out maneuver me, so I used my training against her, advanced inward closer and stepped on one foot to put her off balance. That made her mad at me. Things went to crap after that.
When I called her to invite her up to play pool, I told her I was expecting an important delivery from UPS, and asked her to stop by my place on the way up and she agreed to check for me. I asked for her to bring it with her because of my concerns that I didn't want to leave it on the porch so someone walking by might see it and steal it. I think I've told her about the neighbors down the street who I don't trust, but the whole point is that Cheri understood my request. She honored it by swinging by my place, and when she got to bar, she said it wasn't there. At no time did she object then to my having this issue on my mind. She never objected to coming to play pool having that on my mind, and she never objected to me asking her to check on the package on the way up. She did check because she cared and she did it for me. But what happened later back at my place was another snafu altogether.
Before I had called Cheri to invite her up, she had called me earlier to tell me that her schedule had changed and she didn't have to do all the things she told me earlier. In other words, her day freed up a bit. I had texted her earlier to tell her that I posted the blog about us from last Sunday's trip. So when I told her I would call her and let her know where I was at, she seemed agreeable to that idea.
I called her and told her where I was at and invited her to come up and join me and my son in a game of pool. She seemed eager to do that and had apparently already got some things done. She said, "I just have to put some make up on and I will stop by your place and come up."
We played pool and had a few drinks. We were having a good time, except when I started looking at my watch and said I was thinking about going back to the house to check for the package. She wasn't mad at me, but instead, asked me to chill and not worry about it. She wanted me to stay and play some more. I chose to do that and agreed with her. As time went on, we ordered some food and more drinks, but there was one point that her and I were getting a little feisty with each other grab assing, and just fooling around. She had a hold of the pool stick and so did I, and when she started to try to out maneuver me, I stepped in closer and used one of the steps I was taught in my training to overpower and throw the person off balance. I came in close to her and stepped on her toe a little bit to trap her foot, and was about to make a series of 2-3 other moves to put her off balance, but she objected to me stepping on her toe. It wasn't that hard, but she made a big deal out of it. Nothing at all like the 8 hours of training I had undergone for close unarmed defensive tactics at all, this was just a simple thing, although she wanted to make a big deal out of it saying it hurt her. She insisted I apologize and her whole outlook on me changed in that instant.
We finally got over that, but as time passed, I wanted to come home and check for the delivery of that package. She asked me to just chill and relax. To her, it didn't seem that important. Although last Sunday, she did ask me when that package was going to be delivered, and I told her then that it was scheduled for tonight. So it wasn't like she didn't know it was important. I had told her the contents cost me about $500, but they were BDSM toys.
Tonight, when we got back to the house, the package wasn't here. She immediately made some retort to the fact that I was all excited about nothing because it hadn't got here anyway. That was uncalled for. It was like poking me in the ribs on purpose, trying to prove a point even before we walked in the door. After we were settled inside, I wanted to open up the curtains so I could see when the delivery guy would stop by. She immediately questioned me as to why I wanted to open the curtains. She was already starting to dissect everything I was doing, and yet she originally understood and agreed to stop by to check for me knowing that I was concerned about it.
The part I don't understand is how she could switch on me like this. After the package arrived, she was eager to see the contents just like I was, and we were both interested in testing some of it to see how it worked. Somehow or another, we got into it again later after things were put up. But what she said to me was that I put the box and the contents up to a level that was more important than she was, and that I should have not invited her to go play pool and have some beers because it was on my mind instead of just having fun with her.
What?
That didn't make any sense at all.
I got tired of her picking everything apart and her saying she was psychic and could sense that the box was more important to me than she was. She even made the comment that it isn’t that big of deal, the contents are insured and they will make up for your loss if it were stolen. Well, guess what, the contents were not insured by me at all and no signature was required. I was surprised to hear her say something like this, as if this was at least some of the basis for her reasoning. She was again trying to pull rabbits out of the hat to prove her point of view to me with some sort of justification.
The whole thing was beginning to really piss me off. She comes back at me with things that are so ridiculous, it's as if she wants to get into a verbal debate with me so she can try to prove some point of hers.
At some point when we were hashing the whole thing out, I told her to, "Go read the blog." I was referring to the blog that I had just posted earlier today. She then began to dissect that by perceiving that I was insisting that she read it right away. I did in fact offer for her to use my laptop to read it while she was here, but she declined. The reason I told her to go read the blog was because there were some things in it that she didn't know about yet. I wanted her to read them to understand me better. I actually wanted to build upon our relationship, that is, until tonight.
She then began to justify why she didn't have time the entire day to read that blog. She began that part of the conversation by laying out her entire day, what she did, when she did it, and all of the things she had to do. She was going way out into left field, when all I said was, "Go read the blog." This is what she does. She takes one thing, perceives it her way, then uses that to get into some big argument and debate.
I finally asked her to leave and go take care of her business. I pointed out to her why it bothered her that I had something to do like go home and check on a package, but with the intent of returning, and then I brought up the point why it was important for her to go home and take care of her business, which was walking her dog. The dog is a cool dog, and of course I know she is important to her. But she missed the point I was making again.
This is a routine she has always had to do, and I've never objected to her caring for her dog. The point I had made to her is that I have never objected to her going home to care for her dog, yet she objects to me about a box. I let her do her thing, yet she wants to find fault with me and it clearly says to me that what's important to me is obviously not important to her at all. It was just a box....and that got us to another damn argument again. Her reply before she walked out the door was that it was, "Her daughter", which apparently attempts to justify the importance over my insignificant box, which isn't the point at all. Her reasons are OK…..mine are not, and especially when they don’t make any sense at all and nothing like this was brought up when I asked her to check on my package in the first place.
She doesn't get it. Had she read the damn blog and took time out of her day, she might have gotten it, but that never happened. She had at least 5 minutes in her day to read it, but she chose not to do that because as she told me, she had other so called "important things to do." Again, what is apparently important to her supersedes everything else.
She was so rude to me again, that I threatened to delete the blog because she apparently didn't give a shit about it the way she was talking to me. She then had to throw some more gas on the fire and say that would be very immature of me to do that, as if by saying that she is more mature than me in anything or everything she does on her high horse.
Instead, I chose to write this. She'll take the time to read both of them now, mostly because she will want to check to see if I did delete it, rather than because I wrote something that would be important for her to know to help build our relationship. That’s why I wrote the damn thing, but she didn’t know that. She will now.
Here again, with her attitude and insolence, I had every right to administer corporal punishment, and yet she was so damn adamant about having her say, that I couldn't just drag her into the bedroom and spank her ass. She meant what she said, and I was able to solicit some of the reasoning for why she acted this way. Her reasoning or excuses were not washing well with me at all, because she also accused me of being impatient about the box, and now, being impatient because I told her to go read the blog. I wasn't impatient, I was getting more pissed because she also said, "I'll read it when I get around to it." She was being snotty with me and was very pushy. She also started to use one of her old sayings, "It takes time.....blah, blah, blah" as another excuse for her behavior. That's a bunch of bull shit. We had a great day last Sunday. And you know what she said about that, "That's because we were just having fun and you weren't worrying about anything else."
What? Here we go again..... some other reasoning I guess.
That was all it took for me to tell her to leave. I've had up to my neck with her bull shit. She is not using her head at all and then has the audacity to tell me I am too sensitive, as if I need to put up with her crap.
I didn't, and I won't. Let the relationship go to hell for her being insolent and rude again. She was moody tonight and wanted to fight using whatever she could think of to try to prove her point. I'm not going there with her anymore. She even said that no matter what I say, you still think you're right, which only reinforces the whole point I am making.........it's useless to try to talk to her because she wants to dissect everything apart and use anything she can to win the argument. That's just her nature, and I am not going to play her game at all.
The weird part about all this is a previous statement she made to me days ago, “You’re going to let me get away with talking to you like that?” At that time, she was being suggestive to me that I should be spanking her ass for being so rude or snotty with me. She actually expects me to jump in like that, and yet she is the one that wants to be heard and get into it with me.
This is going nowhere like this. It is getting really petty, and I am not tolerating it. It’s not worth it to me. She even made the wrong point of comparing our argument, saying that I wasn’t used to having someone in a relationship argue with me. That was very stupid of her to bring that into the discussion, because she knows how sensitive I am about that. And the reason she brought it up is because it is true. My wife didn’t talk to me at all like Cheri does, which explains why we were married for so long and why I stuck with her to the very end. She has also asked me on at least three different occasions in the last several days to say to her that I love her, and that we should get married, and then she snickers and laughs about it or my response, which is usually, “I can’t tell you that until I feel that way.” The other day, she made some dumb comment that, “she was just going to use me.”
The point she made was fatal. It was about my wife who I have loved for 31 years….the last 23 of which she progressively became very ill with a total disability that has resulted in her being permanently placed into a nursing home unable to move or talk. She stooped that low to prove her point by saying, “I am not used to someone arguing with me”, and she just had to pull that rabbit out of her hat to try and prove her last point. It’s true, but that was a poor choice to use to prove anything.
Well, congratulations Cheri…………..you’ve made your point very clear to me, and you’ve done it in more ways than one.
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